Sunday, September 18, 2011

Momma, WHERE IS MY DADDY???

Momma, Where is MY DADDY??
By Warren K. Wrencher Jr.
    July 15, 2011
I want to first stress how ALL of a parent's decisions IMPACT their child/children. When a child asks you, with such innocence, "Momma, where is my daddy?", many women go into an immediate defensive state and cause more damage than she is aware of. This is the moment that so much good can be done. Most women simply blow the opportunity, and find themselves dealing with a monster that they created! The first question among many is... How should a woman handle that situation???

Let’s break this situation down to the original question. "Momma...” Your child has recognized your role in his life. So there is NO need for you to defend who you are, if you have been washing his clothes, cooking, housing, and cleaning his behind. As soon as the child says "WHERE...” Something is triggered inside the momma!!! All of the long and lonely nights, arguments and despair arise at the SAME time! Here is what really has happened: The child is aware enough and has enough respect in you to feel SAFE asking you something personal. (digest that for a second) Instead of asking in a complaint type fashion, he asked in a submissive fashion.     
Next...."Momma, where is MY...” Ooooh this little rascal has taking OWNERSHIP towards you! Most women subconsciously hear BLAME, and start getting an adult attitude towards a child. She hears "So what did you do to run my daddy away???" (Uh oh...let's pause while I ignore all the crazy looks) NOW if he sounds like he has ANY attitude, you are geared to rip anyone's head off! INSTEAD, treat this as though you have won the lottery!!!! Here is YOUR opportunity to plant a seed that will bear unseasoned fruit, in a single parent home! Sit him down and TEACH the type of MAN that he should be. Teach him what to do and the ways of the Lord. *all personal mistakes set aside* He is basically begging you to show him the right paths to go, and hinging on the way your words are delivered!  However you react to him could determine the attitude that he has towards you, and his views of his father as a man, as well as fatherhood. You can build a productive adult, who is determined to not do what his sperm-donor has done to him. That's when it becomes important to FIND a mentoring group, or even a church. Honestly, all you can do is keeping drilling in him the reasons why he should be a good man, EVERY single DAY! Get him to the point that he starts making plans to be different!
A young boy, that I mentor, had an attitude with me. I asked him plainly "WHERE IS YOUR DADDY? Call him. It is time for you to understand your responsibility to your family and siblings. Stop riding that victim train, suck it up and let God lead you to being a REAL man. Then I gave him a hug and showed him what a real man does. Many women feel like men just don't care. This doesn't apply to ALL men, which is why I posting this.

Keith Ink-Heart Wrencher

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    Keith "Ink Heart" Wrencher
    My purpose in my writing my books are to serve as vessels of hope, faith, happiness, joy and love.
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